Tuesday, June 14

> I never knew things will ever turn out this way..

It can be really that tiring when only one person is trying to make things work, trying to keep it going, trying to make the friendship stay. Im not even hoping it will continue to blossom because i know that can never happen, im just trying my very best to fight for what i want, and you, the one who i love. But time and time again, ive been overwhelmed with disappointments and more setbacks. Ive had enough, and i told myself that that was enough. I dont understand the reason behind my motions, the things i do, the words i use.

I never knew it was that tough, im like fighting a battle during war. Its not to overcome what i feel for you, but to overcome myself. I finally realised that my ego has been overrated by myself and im not that strong afterall. I couldnt accept the fact that you didnt have anymore feelings for me, just like the fact that Ed left and stopped loving me. It was too harsh on me, way beyond my limits.

Im too tired and jaded to go on, yet i cant seem to stop. I know how i can stop all these from happening, but the alternative is quite impossible meanwhile. I can only suffer in total silence and weep when all is asleep. I hope this is not my karma, because i dont think i should be suffering with this. There are tons of people out there who should instead.

sealed-with-a-kiss < 1:28:00 am

___________________________________________

* yours truly.

amber.ruoxuan\\twenty\
20051987\\single\\operations analyst @ credit suisse\\friendster*

* commentators.

* mates.

Alan
Alex
Alvin
Andrew
Angela
Angie
Anothergal
Audie
Aychuen
Celine
Daphne
Denise
Emelia
Eric
Eugene
Florence
Gabriel
Gena
Grace
Guang
Ian
Iylia
Jane
Jason
Jean
Jennifer
Jingmin
Jingyang
John
Joshua
Joycelyn
Leanne
Leonard Khoo
Leonard
Leroy
Lina
Lynn
Marcus
Meiting
Nur
Rayner
Ron
Ruoci
Samantha
Shawnie
Siwei
Steven
Weiyang
Yihao
Yuping
Yvonne


* archive.

07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006 11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007 01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007 02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007 03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007 04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007 05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007 06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007 07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007 08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007 09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007 10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007 11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007 12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008 01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008 02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008 03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008 04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008 05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008 06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008 07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008 08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008 09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008 10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008 11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008 12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009 01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009 02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009 03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009 04/01/2009 - 05/01/2009 05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009 06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009 07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009 08/01/2009 - 09/01/2009 09/01/2009 - 10/01/2009 10/01/2009 - 11/01/2009 11/01/2009 - 12/01/2009 12/01/2009 - 01/01/2010 01/01/2010 - 02/01/2010 02/01/2010 - 03/01/2010 03/01/2010 - 04/01/2010 04/01/2010 - 05/01/2010 05/01/2010 - 06/01/2010 06/01/2010 - 07/01/2010 07/01/2010 - 08/01/2010 10/01/2010 - 11/01/2010 11/01/2010 - 12/01/2010 01/01/2011 - 02/01/2011 02/01/2011 - 03/01/2011